Today was the first day escaping the difficult holiday schedule and trying out the new routine that I had tentatively set up on paper, hoping it would work out as brilliantly as my brain wanted it to.
Spoiler alert: it works splendidly.
First awesome moment: went to the gym.
I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it was a major one to me. That was my fitness goal for the week, to get over my anxiety and go to the gym. Instead of giving into the nerves I felt all morning at the idea of showing up at the gym and working out with other people around to judge, I got home from the morning job, changed into workout gear, ate lunch and then got to the gym five minutes earlier than planned.
Naturally, the first thing that happened is it took me five minutes to figure out how to “turn on” the elliptical so it would actually track what I was doing.
But instead of getting flustered or taking that as a sign I should never workout again, I put in my info to track my stats, turned the music up a little bit louder and went to work. And it felt fantastic. Sure, I was sweaty as all get out, my heart rate was accelerated and my thighs were feeling the burn within the first five minutes. But the entire time, I was ecstatic. It was like my body was thanking me, desperately saying, “Yes, my goodness, this is what I needed. This is what we’ve been missing.” And for the first time ever, I found myself not only dreading when the workout was over, because it felt so great, but also looking forward to the trip to the gym tomorrow. I did 30 minutes of cardio and then a circuit on all of the machines for the upper body. Tomorrow, another 30 minutes of cardio and leg day.
So it begins.
I can already feel myself getting sore, but I was also amazed with how I’m already viewing myself differently, even though my body did not change a bit from one 30 minute workout. At the gym, I felt confident. I didn’t even think of the people around and can’t even tell you who was there or what they looked like. (That’s a lie, actually. There were two people I remember: a guy who was too cute not to notice. With tattoos. Yes, please. And a girl who was ripped, going at the weights like a BAMF and also tatted. At first, I felt jealousy at her awesomeness, but then I saw what I wanted to work towards and felt nothing but respect.) When I left, I had a bit of swagger walking out, because I felt great. Getting ready for job two, I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw, after day one.
Imagine how I’ll feel after day 100. 200. 500.
Second awesome moment: Writing past my allotted time.
So, the routine I made up takes me from working out to showering to getting ready for work to having 30 minutes to write before making dinner. Since I’ve been in a writing rut recently, I was almost as nervous to try and write today as I was to go to the gym. But after I got ready, I sat down, only opened some music and my draft of the novel before diving in, and ended up writing ten minutes past when I was supposed to stop, which resulted in a frantic rush trying to cook and eat dinner before work.
Yet it was fantastic, diving into that story and falling in love with Natanni again and getting excited about where she is at and where she is headed. I’m about to hit the part where I need to do the most reworking of what I’ve previously written, so there is a lot of work ahead, but it still felt great and I am so excited to write again tomorrow.
It’s little things, like finding a routine that actually works, overcoming anxiety, enjoying a workout and feeling inspired by writing. But combining all of them into one day? Talk about one hell of a good day.