I’ve been thinking a lot of fitness, lately. About the journey I’ve undergone in the past–what this November will mark–two years. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished and where I’ve come from, the habits that I’ve built (and almost always follow) and everything I’ve learned since I decided I wanted to take my health into my own hands. There is still one aspect that I could really, really work on, though.
My mental fitness.
I don’t have too much of a problem sticking with my routine and maintaining this lifestyle. I actually enjoy it. I mean, everyone has their days when they want to be lazy or don’t want to do anything. That’s just human. But usually, I get up in the morning and, even if I’m not truly feeling it, I put in the effort and hit the trail, I complete that strength training exercise, I drink that extra glass of water, I log my food, I resist eating when I’m not hungry and I stick to my calorie goal. But, like I said, I’m human. So I also have days when I choose to sleep in or play video games instead of running. Or I eat that bowl of cereal at midnight, just because I want to. Or I buy that ice cream, I don’t log my food on the weekends, I get those doughnuts before DnD on Sunday mornings. Both of those realities are totally fine.
What isn’t is my mental response to the latter.
You see, I beat myself up way too often when I “slip up”. When I don’t follow my routine as well as I do during the week during the weekends, usually because I’m hanging out with people who don’t follow the same lifestyle–and I have no desire to have a lifestyle that means I don’t order the food I want when I go out to eat or my boyfriend and I do date nights (which usually includes ice cream). I like being able to eat what I want to eat. I want to do so without feeling like a failure. Or I’d like to have a lazy day without thinking the entire time about how I should have got up and gone running instead.
I’d really love to stop comparing myself to others and their progress and feel like I’m failing because of how my body looks, since it “doesn’t look as good as theirs”; judging that I’m not doing well because I still have curves and love handles that stick out, despite the fact that I’m starting to form an outline in my abs, I’ve shaved a minute off my starting mile time and I’ve lost 30 pounds. I’d love to stop looking at the scale and getting pissed that I can’t get under 175, even though I know I’m gaining muscle and still losing fat, even if the scale doesn’t reflect that. I’d love to stop feeling like a whale one day, even though the day before, I couldn’t believe I was actually feeling what it felt like to love your body.
I have my physical fitness down pat, a routine that I love and that works for me, with enough variety to help it stay fresh and mix it up. I know now how to eat well and stay full, yet also indulge and enjoy myself. I can log my food and my runs and I hold myself accountable.
Now, I’d love to learn how to master that mental game.
Any tips that you have would be super appreciated!