Random Musings

Off Again, On Again

Hello, lovelies!

Gosh, it has been a hot minute since I’ve written a post here on this blog. Or at least, it feels like it has. I don’t think it’s been as long in reality as my head believes it has been, but I’ve definitely missed writing personal posts on here. I’ve been amping it up over at my book review blog, Erlebnisse, lately, which has been really awesome. I’ve really enjoyed the posts I’ve written over there and working on that kind of content, but it’s also taken away my time writing here. So I’m hopeful to work out a better balance in the future.

But for now, to the topic at hand, the purpose of this post.

I’ve fallen a little off the bandwagon in terms of my personal goals.

And I…really don’t like it.

Working out has probably been the worst one, for a plethora of reasons. Laziness is definitely one, though I wish that wasn’t the case. Any tips for strengthening that mental game/willpower would definitely be appreciated. My constantly changing work schedule over the summer has definitely impacted it, as well. And I’ve just stopped following the lifestyle changes I learned through the Natural Slim, which I didn’t realize until the other day, when I was able to eat a lot more than I have been, recently, before getting full. Plus, while I usually workout between 4-5x a week, I’ve been averaging one or two days in the summer, if that. As a result, I’m back up to 179, when the lowest I reached was 169, though I was sitting at 170-175 for a while there. So a nice ten pounds added back, which isn’t what I wanted. Granted, I think some of it is muscle, but my self-esteem is slowly creeping back down to depths that I really didn’t want it to return to.

how to train your dragon no GIF

Then, there’s writing–or editing, rather, since my goal for the rest of the year is to edit three books (the first two books in my Artemis series and then BLOOD PRICE). I thought I’d have the first book for Artemis edited by now (it’s mostly line edits at this point, after all) but I’ve been barely managing anything at all recently and that’s been a pretty big bummer. Granted, it has been a bit busier at work and August is our busiest month, so it’s not going to get any easier. But I was hoping to make more progress than this.

Reading, same case. I’d thought I would crank through novels this summer, but it was a lot busier than I thought, so I’ve barely been averaging a book a week (I’d like to read two, at least). And considering I’m also trying to balancing review copies, ARCs and books I just want to unstack from my TBR pile, I’ve actually gotten a little stressed by how little I’ve been reading, since I’m just falling more and more behind on ARCs. Too much time on social media has played into that, but also the fact that I play video games during my down time to relax and I have more of a social life now, thanks to my extroverted boyfriend.

All these aspects are really important to me. But I just haven’t been doing the best job staying on top of things. I know the changes I need to make in order to get where I want to go.

how to train your dragon dreamworks GIF

Now, I just need to make them.

With social media, my plan is to log on once a day, instead of keeping my accounts logged on and open, so I’m always tempted to go back and scroll. Less time on there means more time to read or write. Also, I need to stop with the mindset of, “if it’s only ten minutes, that’s not enough time to read,” waiting instead for an hour or two free to sit down and get cozy with a book. If there is a free moment, there is time to read!

With writing, I think I really just need to accept that this is just a really busy time, right now. I still have five months to work on edits this year and still make my overly yearly goal. That is a lot of time. Plus, I’ve already written two brand new first drafts, so this year is already twice as productive on the writing front–plus six short stories, to boot! That said, if I get everything done during the day that I need to, then I should use the spare time to continue with edits and keep making progress. Because honestly, once we hit September, I’ll be able to level everything out and make consistent progress again, making writing a priority. There’s really no point to freaking out about it now (though I do really miss my stories).

Working out, I need to actually follow everything I’ve learned. Eat when I’m hungry, stop snacking when I’m not or just because it’s muscle memory, i.e., like when playing video games and make my workouts a priority again, instead of just working out when I want to. I also have to remember that the scale isn’t always the best gauge of my health, so just because my weight has gone up, doesn’t mean I’m necessarily worse off. So I weighed again this week and took my measurements. I’ll start weighing regularly again (since I hadn’t been doing that), honestly logging my food and generally just practicing the lifestyle change that helped me lose 30 pounds to begin with. But I also want to continue practicing being more forgiving and working on a healthier mindset when it comes to my appearance and physical fitness. I’m not always going to kill at training and there are going to be days when I go over on calories or just eat poorly. That doesn’t mean all the work I’ve put in for the past two years is suddenly going to get ruined or that I don’t know how to get back on track. I do know these things and I won’t get back to a place where I hate myself. I need to have confidence in that knowledge and practice self love, no matter what my body looks like.

*wipes sweat off brow*

What a return post, huh? Almost a 1,000 words rambling about how, even though my summer has been really great, my goals haven’t been the most consistent that I would have hoped for. But that’s okay, because I know how to get back and continue making progress. I’ll never get to a point where it is impossible to continue, even if I have to make up some ground again, first.

And that is what I need to remember the most.


3 thoughts on “Off Again, On Again”

  1. My willpower’s vanished into the oblivion recently too, along with my USB flash drive!
    I’ve been so unproductive the past couple of weeks, and I blame summer. The heats melted my brain, and I just want to video game and mooch around doing not much. Good luck getting back on track, I’ll be doing the same, with exercise and eating especially!

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