I absolutely love Halloween.
Here’s the thing, though: I’m not exactly sure why. It might be one of my top favorite holidays to celebrate. I loved dressing up as a kid and going Trick-or-Treating. As an adult, I didn’t really get to do as much, but my boyfriend and some of his best friends also love the holiday and throw a really fun and wonderful party each year, so I’ve been getting more into it again. Of course, I love the free candy and the fact that, if the weather’s being kind, it’s also during the gloriousness of the fall season is also wonderful. Perhaps it has an even more special place in my heart because it’s only a few days before my birthday and, to me, it’s the holiday that truly ignites the beginning of the holiday season (because you get Halloween, then my birthday, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas all in a span of roughly two months).
And I positively love the holiday season.
So I really do love it. A trip into my pantry currently (with Halloween themed Oreos with orange frosting ((my favorite Oreos of the year, tbh)), Cap’n Crunch cereal that turns the milk green, Fruit Loops with Spooky Marshmallows, Dove Chocolates wrapped up as pumpkins…) would confirm this love, as would our date plans this weekend including going to a pumpkin patch. But for as much as I love it, I also find it totally ironic.
Because I’m positively terrified of scary movies.
I blame it on the writer’s imagination. No matter what premise a scary movie has–whether it’s totally believable and possible, like a serial killer, or completely improbable, like zombies–I am the biggest pansy when it comes to watching them. Hell, even labeling it as “watching them” is a bit of a stretch, unless you’re okay with counting peeking between my fingers and hiding beneath pillows, blankets and other humans as watching the film. Don’t even get me started on the music, which is almost worse than the jump scares (and I f-ing hate jump scares).
Of course, once my friends growing up found this out, they used any opportunity to scare me or force me to watch films in this genre during high school. I’ve seen a handful: The Stranger, Scream, Disturbia, Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2, Psycho, amongst others that I’ve probably blocked out of my memory. Of what I have seen, most of them have left me to where I can’t sleep without being entirely on my bed and completely under the covers, no legs or limbs hanging out/off. Or how, on multiple occasions after watching one, I’ve kept with the light on or played my favorite animated films on repeat, just to sleep through the night.
I honestly think it’s just because, no matter what I saw on screen, my brain can make it worse, fixated on these haunting and terrifying images and ideas until I’m convinced the killer is hiding in my bathroom, waiting to strike, or there are demons in my closet, only waiting for the permission granted by extinguished lights before coming out to play. Even just talking about horror films with my coworkers the other day made me paranoid during my dinner break that something terrifying or deadly was going to happen.
Which is quite a bummer, if I’m being honest, because I feel that my love of Halloween and for this season would be even more complete if I was able to watch a horror film over the weekend. Especially because, during the ones I have seen, the adrenaline rush really is something unparalleled to most else I have experienced. It’s just the mental freak outs after that I can’t handle and I just love sleep too much to sacrifice it to be on the edge of my seat for two and a half hours.
That being said, knowing my life, I’ll probably get roped into watching another scary movie before too long, but for now, I’ll enjoy my Halloween-themed food, extra candy and playing “This is Halloween” on repeat without all the scary films, thank you very much.
What about you? Do you love Halloween and scary movies? Hate them? Only like one but not the other? Let me know your thoughts down below!
PS: While I can’t handle scary films, I have on occasion devoured a Stephen King novel (my favorites being The Stand and Salem’s Lot) or another horror/thriller book and enjoyed them immensely, paying the same price of lost sleep and paranoia for the next few days. So add that into the confusion.