Hey there, lovelies.
So, you might know that, in November of 2016, I started running, which really changed a lot of things about my life. Not only did it help me find a different way to manage stress, but it also helped me lose weight (something I’d never been able to pull off), get active and encouraged me to learn more about the food I was eating and how to live a more active lifestyle. I haven’t always been the most consistent, but for most of the past two years, I’ve lived a much more active, healthier lifestyle; even incorporating some strength training at hope to mix up the cardio a little bit.
That is, until the past, eh, I’d say two months.
I’m not sure what happened, to be honest with you. I did move away from the trail that was five feet from my apartment to a location that doesn’t even have accessible sidewalks with high traffic, so perhaps that’s why I stopped running. I was doing strength training, but even that has started to slip and I’ve seemed to have lost the desire to do so, not really figuring out exactly what I want to do in order to be active. I find myself wanting to sleep in more, instead of getting up early to workout. Of course, a result of this is that I’m gaining weight back and I’m starting to hate myself again because of it, which is not fun.
The first problem, of course, is I shouldn’t base my own self worth so closely (or dare I say only) tied to my physical appearance or my weight or how often I work out. I’m not exactly sure how I work on loving myself “as is,” but I know it’s something I need to work on. The second problem, however, is that I’m just making up excuses for myself to not work out, even though I know it’s both a) good for me and b) I am happier when I do it, even if I’m not feeling motivated every day to do just that.
Sure, it’s more inconvenient now that there isn’t a trail right by me, but there are trails I can drive to or even a gym I can join for free, as long as I show prove of residence. I just haven’t done it. There are plenty of different workouts I could do at home, whether it’s on YouTube or the T-25 workout program I have. I just keep talking myself out of doing it. Yes, I love sleep, but even going to bed after I get off work at 12:30am, I still can get eight hours by getting up at 8:30am. Which solves the problem of wanting to still have time to play video games during the afternoon before work after prepping my dinner for the evening. If I actually get up on time instead of sleeping until 11am, I’d have plenty of time to do it all, even if I have to drive to a gym or a trail.
I’m just not doing it.
It’s a slump and I just need to force myself out of it, I think. Granted, I was sick for a bit in the middle of it and went on vacation, but the only person who is stopping me is myself and I really don’t like how much my moods have changed since I stopped working out and how much I miss it, even though the only person holding me back from working out is me. I know I already can’t work Monday or Tuesday this week thanks to prior commitments and schedule changes, but perhaps this Wednesday, I can find a way to get back into gear. Whether’s it’s starting the T-25 program, going and joining that gym I mentioned or simply putting my cold gear on and finally sucking it up…I dunno, friends. But I need to do something, because I don’t like where I’m at, right now, and I don’t like how it’s (mostly) self-inflicted.
So, of course, I wrote a blog post about it. *shrugs*
Advice, as always, is welcome.