Random Musings

The Only Problem Is (Probably) Myself

Hey there, lovelies.

So, you might know that, in November of 2016, I started running, which really changed a lot of things about my life. Not only did it help me find a different way to manage stress, but it also helped me lose weight (something I’d never been able to pull off), get active and encouraged me to learn more about the food I was eating and how to live a more active lifestyle. I haven’t always been the most consistent, but for most of the past two years, I’ve lived a much more active, healthier lifestyle; even incorporating some strength training at hope to mix up the cardio a little bit.

That is, until the past, eh, I’d say two months.

benedict cumberbatch oops GIF

I’m not sure what happened, to be honest with you. I did move away from the trail that was five feet from my apartment to a location that doesn’t even have accessible sidewalks with high traffic, so perhaps that’s why I stopped running. I was doing strength training, but even that has started to slip and I’ve seemed to have lost the desire to do so, not really figuring out exactly what I want to do in order to be active. I find myself wanting to sleep in more, instead of getting up early to workout. Of course, a result of this is that I’m gaining weight back and I’m starting to hate myself again because of it, which is not fun.

The first problem, of course, is I shouldn’t base my own self worth so closely (or dare I say only) tied to my physical appearance or my weight or how often I work out. I’m not exactly sure how I work on loving myself “as is,” but I know it’s something I need to work on. The second problem, however, is that I’m just making up excuses for myself to not work out, even though I know it’s both a) good for me and b) I am happier when I do it, even if I’m not feeling motivated every day to do just that.

Sure, it’s more inconvenient now that there isn’t a trail right by me, but there are trails I can drive to or even a gym I can join for free, as long as I show prove of residence. I just haven’t done it. There are plenty of different workouts I could do at home, whether it’s on YouTube or the T-25 workout program I have. I just keep talking myself out of doing it. Yes, I love sleep, but even going to bed after I get off work at 12:30am, I still can get eight hours by getting up at 8:30am. Which solves the problem of wanting to still have time to play video games during the afternoon before work after prepping my dinner for the evening. If I actually get up on time instead of sleeping until 11am, I’d have plenty of time to do it all, even if I have to drive to a gym or a trail.

I’m just not doing it.

Image result for the awkward yeti workout

It’s a slump and I just need to force myself out of it, I think. Granted, I was sick for a bit in the middle of it and went on vacation, but the only person who is stopping me is myself and I really don’t like how much my moods have changed since I stopped working out and how much I miss it, even though the only person holding me back from working out is me. I know I already can’t work Monday or Tuesday this week thanks to prior commitments and schedule changes, but perhaps this Wednesday, I can find a way to get back into gear. Whether’s it’s starting the T-25 program, going and joining that gym I mentioned or simply putting my cold gear on and finally sucking it up…I dunno, friends. But I need to do something, because I don’t like where I’m at, right now, and I don’t like how it’s (mostly) self-inflicted.

So, of course, I wrote a blog post about it. *shrugs*

Advice, as always, is welcome.


10 thoughts on “The Only Problem Is (Probably) Myself”

  1. I heard some advice from somewhere that spurs me on. Ummm . . . nope, can’t remember who said it. ANYWAY, it was you have to start, just start something, and that gives you motivation because the brain doesn’t work the other way around. You can’t decide to get motivated and expect to start as soon as that motivation arrives.

    Start then motivation, not motivation then start. It helps me a lot in all sorts of things.

    1. I think that’s such a great point. I know that’s true, too, and I follow that advice with writing, so why would I try and wait for motivation with working out? Thank you for taking the time to offer it!

  2. It’s such a hard position to be in where you’re out of the habit, because habit is such a powerful factor in getting things done. Especially with the cold weather!!!
    Putting in place a reward system works for some people (ie put a dollar in a jar every time you train & save up for something you want), but for me, external accountability is Queen. If I’m writing my own training program I might skip a day or not finish everything in a session. If someone else is programming for me, I’m doing it all because I know that’s how it’s meant to be done & I want to stick to the plan. So you have to figure out what motivates you (let me know if you want to get the login details for my current gym programming & just piggyback off that, it’s really good).
    The hardest thing is starting again after you’ve been out of it for a while, but starting small can help. Go to the gym & pick 1-2 exercises you want to do. Ask Edward to go with you. Decide to eat veggies at every meal. Little things really help 😊 the other thing (again, works for some people & not others) is making it a non-negotiable appointment in your mind. You don’t miss work, do you? You don’t skip breakfast, or forget to brush your teeth. Schedule in 2-3 sessions a week at set days/times for set activities & make them non-negotiable parts of your week 😊 you can do it!

    1. Oh, Ana. I won’t lie, I was kinda hoping you’d be one of the ones to respond to this post, because I trust your guidance on this so much (and almost texted you about it, but then I didn’t want to bother you, which I realize wouldn’t have been a bother in the first place ((yay overthinking)).

      I think I’m struggling because not only am I in a less ideal location to run, but I plateaued and then started gaining weight back (even though it *was probably muscle*) and then I mentally freaked out and that prolly caused me to quit. *sigh* I hate that I did that, because now I’m closer to where I started than where I was at my “best,” but I’m also struggling to figure out something that I enjoy doing that will also help me reach my goals, i.e., tone up my entire backside, from calves to thighs to butt to lower back (!!) to triceps. But, I did go by and get my membership today, so hopefully tomorrow I can go up there and see what they actually have and try to come up with a program I enjoy? I think I’d really like to run for 15 minutes/1 mile as my cardio/warmup and then lift for 30, though not sure how many days a week…

      I do think I really need to start making it a non-negotiable part of my life, mentally. Because you’re right, I don’t miss the other daily aspects of my life, because they are important and I’m so used to doing them. So why am I doing it with my workouts, especially when I love them so much after the fact (and usually during) too?

      So thank you, Ana. Your response meant a lot and had me thinking a lot, too. ❤

  3. Just start somewhere. Even if it’s just to take a walk around the block. I have to restart the working out as well. Gone to a yoga class two weeks in a row now. So it’s something to get me back in the swing. Good luck!

    1. Yes, you’re totally right. I think I’m focusing too much on results and not enough on the process itself; just finding a routine I enjoy and want to do. I’m stoked that you’ve been doing yoga and sticking with it!! That’s awesome. Thanks, Beth. ❤

    1. It is definitely hard. I think I’m also struggling in that I’m like, “Oh, I’ll start today, but I already know I won’t have time the next day, so I guess I should just start next week.” Instead, I should create a routine and do my best to stick with it, but at the same time, not give up completely when I miss a day or two…or twelve.

      Hopefully we can both get something sorted!

  4. I hate how hard it is to lose weight and how easy it is to gain it all back. Wish I knew the sure-fire solution to it all, but I sadly don’t. Good luck!

    1. Gosh, YES. I didn’t realize how easy it is to gain it all back. I think that’s why it’s so important to not diet, but find a lifestyle (including eating and fitness) that works, so you’re able to maintain it and not continue to fluctuate. Good luck to you, too, if this is a goal for you. If not, hope life is going well!

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