Being sick last week with an illness that I’m still not 100% sure what it was, what caused it or why it suddenly went away, definitely takes a toll on you. Being unable to do anything but lie down and sleep for a week straight definitely makes you wish you could do anything but that. This week, moving again, back at work, with a To-Do List a mile long, I’m a little stressed. But I’m also so incredibly thankful and appreciative, because I can actually do things that I want to do, and actually live my life, instead of being forced to think about all the things I want to be doing, but unable to do them.
It was a good reminder that I should be a little more appreciative of what I’m able to do and what I have, and be a little more purposeful with my time.
We all get into those funks, I think. You know, where you don’t want to go to work, have no desire to go to the gym, are dreading cooking dinner when you get home and just want to be lazy on the couch. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, in moderation. But before I got sick, that was definitely where I was at. Seasonal depression was hitting me hard (and it’s still trying it’s damndest, since this winter just won’t.go.away.) and I just didn’t want to have to leave my apartment.
Life has a funny way of granting wishes in ways we don’t always expect (or always want).
Luckily, I’m pretty much back up to 100% and I’m slowly getting back into the groove of things. Though I still haven’t gone to the gym yet this week (I am definitely going tomorrow, though) and it’s taken a lot to get caught up on work, I’m still making progress. I’m moving again, I’m getting out and getting things done. Though being sick sucked, it reminded me that I have goals and I have the power to actually work towards them and making them come true. Being sick and being unable, without any choice on my part, to work on what I wanted to–physically, emotionally, with my writing and myself–was terrifying.
So why would I make choices that prevent myself from still striving forward when I have the chance to make that choice?
Just…something I’ve been thinking about a lot, the past few days.