It’s that time of year where I become reflective (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). Taking a pause after the holidays to reflect how the past year went, before planning how I want the next year to go. Unfortunately, 2021 took a look at 2020 and said, “Hold my beer,” and wow, did it deliver in being complete bullshit. So, knowing that, it might be a little silly, writing my 2021 intentions reflections; knowing that I failed in many of them.
Yet, I still want to, if for nothing else than to celebrate small victories and help set new intentions for next year.
So, let’s see how I did!
So, if you want a reminder of my 2021 intentions, check out the post I wrote last year. They were pretty ambitious, especially since the pandemic was nowhere near over (similar to now, which is just…🙄). But, below is a recap of each set of intentions and how I did!
My goals here were to develop a writing routine, edit and query BLOOD PRICE, and write the first draft of a new WIP. I am very proud of BLOOD PRICE. I’m still in the querying trenches, but this is the novel I’m grown the most with and worked the hardest on. It means a lot to me and though the rejections have stung, it’s a story I love and still believe will be published, one day.
I did start my untitled WIP, but am only about three chapters in (and will probably start over soon). A writing routine is my absolute dream, at this point–and will most likely be my focus for next year!
Intentions Status: 1/3 (33% complete)
Oh boy, this is probably the worst intention I failed at. My goals were to develop a reading routine and read 1-2 books a week, or 4-8 books a month. Well, as we can see from my reading stats, I failed at this pretty miserably. I’m not quite sure why reading didn’t provide the outlet I needed this year. I do truly miss it, though.
Intentions Status: 0/2 (0% complete)
Despite not hitting either of my goals here (spoiler), I am still proud of my blogging! The last few months have been sporadic and rough, thanks to my day job completely destroying me. I’ve not been consistent with posting regularly, I didn’t update any of my older posts like I wanted to and I haven’t blog hopped in months (and I hate it here, thanks). Nor did I reach my goal of 1,000 followers. I am at 912 followers, however, so I feel like this is a goal that could be within reach in 2022! And one I plan to shoot for.
Intentions Status: 0/2 (0% complete)
Oh, ambition was with me when I made these goals. 😅 For my editing business, this year, I wanted to:
- Work with at least one client each month
- Continue to self study and level up my editing skills
- Get better at marketing these services
- Work with a romance client!?
I didn’t work with a romance client, nor did I work with a client each month (in fact, I haven’t worked with anyone since September). I’m still not where I want to be, marketing wise, but I did continue to level up my skills and grow, so I am proud of myself there.
Intentions Status: 1/4 (25% complete)
Oh, oh boy. One of the main reasons I struggled so much this year is thanks to my depression. It was at an all-time high, matched only by my anxiety. Medical issues caused me to stop going to therapy, to make room for other, unexpected (and costly) medical bills. And my day job has been gaslighting and turning toxic so hard, that it’s truly taken over a lot of my mental capacities.
So…yeah, I didn’t love myself this year, nor focused on ways to learn to love myself better. I survived and, for what it’s worth, that’s one helluva thing.
Intentions Status: 0/3 (0% complete)
Activism and Allyship
This is my hardest to “judge,” because this is a lifelong commitment that doesn’t have clear cut “milestones” to see if I’m “on track” or not (because that isn’t really a thing). So, I won’t be looking at it in that way. I’m proud that always stayed a priority, even if it wasn’t daily. I stayed engaged by: reading multiple non-fiction books, reading every ARD article posted and following more anti-racist educators.
Always, I can do more, but I have made definite strides in this area.
I listed a bunch of smaller intentions, of things I didn’t want to forget, but couldn’t figure out how to group. On par for the course, I did hardly any of them. Some of it was outside of my control (like, obviously didn’t go visit any friends thank to the panini). Others were forgotten, while more were simply crushed thanks to how the year went. There are still plenty I’d love to do and focus on, so we’ll see what the new year brings!
2021 Intentions Reflections and Recap
So, 2021. I don’t label it the shittiest year of my life lightly. In fact, some challenges included things like:
- Finding out I have a chronic disability via a back disease
- Losing my Grandpa to cancer
- Struggling in a toxic day job environment
- Developing gastrointestinal issues and sleep problems due to stress
- Going into medical debt
- ER trips for both myself and my partner
- Multiple COVID scares (due to needless day job exposure)
- Depression and anxiety spikes
- Canceling therapy due to losing insurance coverage randomly
It’s been a hard year. Which might be a downer to say or even, in some ways, embarrassing to admit. None of this is to write and say, oh, poor pity Nicole. That’s not what I’m after. I think it’s important to recognize challenges and (if you’re comfortable), being open about them. This hasn’t been a good year for anyone, in many respects. It’s okay to acknowledge that; to feel it, to grieve it.
So, that’s what I’m allowing myself to do here.
Yet, it wasn’t bad 24/7. There were some positives, too, even if they were hard to see, sometimes. Things like:
- Staying healthy and not losing anyone to COVID
- Safely being able to see my friends after over a year
- Good writing days
- Editing amazing books and working with fantastic clients
- Long hugs from my partner
- Lunch ranting dates with coworkers
- Gaining the strength to take my dog on walks again (+ dog park trips)
- Plenty of video game therapy
- New tattoos
- Becoming a hybrid employee and getting a pay raise at (albeit toxic) day job
All in all, I think we can all agree that 2021 wasn’t my year. I am not sad to see it go. And while I know that 2022 isn’t going to magically fix all of my problems, concerns, stressors or anxieties, I do cherish the symbolic nature of a fresh start, a new change, a positive reset.
Thanks for being with me, friends. This corner of the internet–your interactions, comments and encouragement through likes and views–has been a bright light on many a day left too long in darkness. It truly means the world. 🖤