Last Updated on May 8, 2020 by ThoughtsStained
I hope you all are hanging in there! I’ve been in isolation for 60 days, now. I know it’s needed, for sure, and I support that. I know it needs to happen for a lot longer and I support that, too. But my brain is slowly trying to accept that this is going to be a reality for a while now, but that doesn’t make that acceptance any easier. And with so much going on, I think I just want to throw some reminders out into the void, just in case you need it (before Lord knows I do):
It’s okay to be angry right now. At what has happened, how this pandemic is being handled by your leadership, at the world.
It’s okay to be disappointed on what you’ve lost, no matter how minor it is. A trip, a coffee date, a vacation, a graduation, a birthday, regular routines, dog parks, visiting family and friends. It’s easy to get caught up and think that you can’t complain or be sad that these events were cancelled or postponed or uncertain for the near future, especially if you’re one of the lucky ones who still has your job and your health. But this type of grieving is normal. It’s okay to miss these things.
It’s okay to be frustrated with your job. Be delicate about how you handle that frustration and please recognize that still having an income is an amazing privilege right now. But you also might be dealing with remote struggles or technology issues or imbalances. You may be micromanaged more now, expected to take on more work or at the risk of layoffs constantly, despite also suddenly becoming a teacher for your children, a caretaker for loved ones or just trying to mentally, emotionally and physically survive during a global pandemic.
It’s okay to wish things were different.
It’s okay to be sad. Obviously, you gotta try and manage your mental health as best you can, but it’s also okay to feel. Cry it out. Eat that extra chocolate. Text your best friend and tell them how hard of a day you’re having and how much it sucks. Try your best not to spiral, but it’s also okay to break down every once in a while.
It’s okay to be scared. In fact, I think we all should be.
It’s okay to wish none of this had ever happened.
It’s okay to be scared of the future.
It’s okay to not have all the answers.
It’s okay to struggle to understand how you feel, right now.
It’s okay to gain weight. Because being fat isn’t a bad thing and you shouldn’t have to feel the pressure of losing weight during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC as a means of trying to find self worth.
It’s okay to not be okay.
That’s a lot of reminders, I know. But if ever there was a time where we would feel so much and experience such a weird range of emotions, it is now. Especially since the place we use to stay in touch the most, through social media, is the same place where it can trigger a lot of emotions that are hard to feel.
You could see others who are thriving or have picked up a new hobby or is still meeting all of their goals. You could see those who have a job when you’ve lost yours. You could see those who are in love and not alone while you’re living in solitude. You could see those mourning the ones they’ve lost to this illness. Or, you could feel guilt that you’re experiencing any positives, while you know others are struggles and suffering.
This is just a lot of rambling to say that we’re all dealing with a lot, right now. Personally, some days, I’m super positive and productive and hopeful and ready to take on the day. Other days, I’m so unmotivated and so depressed, the fact that I move at all should be considered a victory. Other days, I am filled with anger and hatred, towards our president, the corruption of our government and how their handling of his pandemic have needlessly cost so many people their lives. Some days, I hope more onto hope that maybe this will help bring about the change we so desperately need.
I’m all over the place. Maybe you’re all over the place, too. And I just wanted to remind you that that’s okay. You’re okay. And don’t let anyone tell you differently.