Last Updated on March 18, 2022 by ThoughtsStained
So, we have another discussion today, this one inspired by a recent issue I’ve been having. I wouldn’t call it a reading slump, per say–though perhaps that’s just me being stubborn. But, I want to talk about when a reader fights reading and what that looks like.
And why it’s frustrating as fuck.
Okay, strap in. Here’s some context of my current situation, before we dive into why I’m so annoyed with myself.
So, we’re almost four months into 2022 (at the time of publishing this post). I’ve read, in total, three books. 😭 I’m over halfway done with a fourth: The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart. But, I started it on Feb. 21st. Yes, you read that right: February. It’s March, loves. Mid-March. It’s been almost a month since I started this book.
Yet, I’ve probably sat down to read it maybe…three times, since?
But here’s the thing: it’s not because the book is bad. I am thoroughly enjoying The Bone Shard Daughter. It’s shaping up to be a 4+ star read. I WANT to read it.
So, why is it that I can’t convince myself to sit the fuck down and actually read this thing!?
And that’s where my frustration lies: becoming a reader who isn’t reading. When a reader fights reading, I’d argue that it’s normally a sign that you need to DNF the book. Something’s not jiving. Yet, in this case, that’s absolutely not true. In fact, each time I’ve sat down to read The Bone Shard Daughter this month, I haven’t wanted to stop reading, usually reading 50+ pages–and only forced to stop thanks to my lunch break ending.
*imagine me staring deadpan at the camera*
I think you can start to see why I’m so annoyed with myself.
There are a few culprits playing into this, I feel.
- Time Management: we all know that I don’t know how to not overburden myself. Between: a full-time day job, being in graduate school part-time, a part-time second freelance editing job, plus other hobbies (like writing my own books, this blog, keeping up with my Patreon). Yeah, it’s not surprising that reading isn’t always a priority.
- Lack of Routine: The times that I want to plan to read for fun are during my lunch breaks and before I go to bed. Yet, work has been so intense lately that I’ve often been working through my lunch breaks, which I do not like (and need to change). I can’t remember the last time I read before bed. Instead, I often play video games until I’m so tired, I pass out.
- Social Media Distraction: Plus, let’s be real. I’ve gotten into TikTok lately. That can be a really annoying (yet also really enjoyable) time suck that has invaded time I usually use for reading.
All of this frustrates me. Part of me feels like a failure, because I’m a book blogger and a writer who is struggling to read books I enjoy. Plus, I have so many other books I want to read!! Another part is angry that I cannot for the life of me figure out why I can’t establish a routine. Further still, I’m just baffled that I have this aspect of my personally that struggles to start things I enjoy. But then, turns around and struggles to stop–which sometimes makes me avoid something all together. (Is this a real, Named™ thing? I must know.)
So, this post doesn’t provide any answers, but mostly is just a pile of self-frustration. And perhaps a small plea for readers to tell me I’m not alone in this? If you’ve ever found yourself being a reader who fights reading, how you’ve combatted it? Does anyone else struggle to start things, even ones they enjoy? Any tips for creating a routine when the pandemic has ruined any elements of keeping a routine for you?
Friends, I’m struggling and would love any guidance, commiserations or ideas you have!